Cinema Disaster- Best First Date Movies

on this episode of cinema disaster we’re going to be talking about the top five best first date movies and first on our list is film by John Waters it’s called pink flamingos this movie should be shown on the first date don’t don’t wait till you get to know the person and and where you’re all comfortable with one another just right out of the gate show this you know you got you got Edith Maisie in a playpen obsessed with eggs you have divine eating excrement that’s uh that’s feces for the general population and then we have mink stole trying to take the crown of being the filthiest family in the world I don’t know His divine claims to be prides herself on being the filthiest one and you know you get you get I think a dog I think a turd gets mailed to divine or maybe it’s to mink stole you know you got a guy in the park sausage tied to his dick you got a a person whose bunghole starts flexing like this I mean when the buttonhole starts flexing second date right so make sure you check out pink flamingos it’s an exercise and poor taste second film on the list if pink flamingos is not your bag move right along to happiness by Todd Salons this movie’s title says exactly what it’s going to make your date filled with happiness you’ve got Dylan Baker jerk Dubois Life magazine you got Philip Seymour Hoffman making lewd bomb calls to lower Flynn Boyle who I think he’s pleasuring himself in there somewhere you got Jon Lovitz that’s a you know I mean up to this point you probably thought it was porno it most certainly is not this this is an award-winning film but one nonetheless that some of the stuff I can’t even put into words just just trust me happiness the third movie on this date list is I drink your blood you got satanic hippies lots of unnecessary nudity you’ve got this kid feeding these hippies these meats I guess they’re meat pies that he injects with dog rabies and so all these hippies like get rabies and they go insane and turn into cannibals and make sacrifices to Satan and yeah I mean if the person can’t see your potential on this one they’re probably not very bright actually they’re on a date with you so they’re probably not very bright anyway number four we’re gonna talk about holy mountain I just watched this film and II’m still not sure what I watched something about Jesus is sending the holy mountain lots of weird song and dance numbers a very surrealistic very dreamlike incredible incredible set design very interesting film although I’m not sure I mean if your date is smarter than you which I already said they probably aren’t maybe they’ll be able to understand it better than I did probably more than what you will understand it so yeah Jesus song-and-dance the holy mountain you can’t go wrong number five totally just skip every movie I just said on this list and and go with this one is this Cannibal Holocaust I think the name speaks for itself we got tons of cannibalism human bodies being torn to a pile of intestines and organs and I don’t know man they kill a turtle and then they you did and I think it’s real or something I don’t know some woman that disgraced the tribe is impaled through her ass and through her mouth I’m like a like a pole yeah that’s probably the one that will get you laid of any of these I would probably rank that one as the highest so let’s do a recap pink flamingos happiness I drink your blood holy mountain and Cannibal Holocaust five great choices and if you’re lucky you’ll get to show all five movies to your date and until next time keep watching

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